Naruto and Sasuke: BFF not
by GenBudoir
Summary: Sasuke has returned to Konoha, and he and Naruto closer to each other then ever. The only problem is...Naruto hates Sasuke more then anything! Little do people know the reason behind this! It's a story within a story, and it's pure crack XD NOT sasunaru!
1. Chapter 1

1Hello! I am your co-author, Gen Budoir with my other co-author miss allie g. Now what you are about to read, is a bit disturbing, but not that disturbing. It does contain some mistreatment of children, and rather explicit content later on, so if you are disturbed by such things, this is not the story for you. But for the rest of you, we ask that you please read and review. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: We own NOTHING, except Little Jimmy and the old man. (Who locked little jimmy up in a closet) We must save him!

Little Jimmy: I'm out of the closet! Can I please eat now.

Miss Allie G: We've done enough for you!

Gen Budoir: Go make me a sammich!

Little Jimmy: That's not the proper way to say it!

Gen Budoir: DO YOU SEE ME CARING! Okay on to the story now.

--------------------------------------------------

It was another normal day at the public library: children running around, trying their best to stay quiet (and failing miserably), and the usual old man trying to get their attention.

"Sit still, boys and girls," he said over and over and over again, but still they wouldn't listen. They continued running around like wild animals, unable to contain themselves. They distracted everyone in the library with their childish antics, but still they would not stop. The continued to run, screaming all over the place, but still they could not stop. Finally the old man began to grow angry. He just wanted their attention.

"BOYS AND GIRLS! SIT DOWN, NOW!"

The children looked at the old geezer, startled. They stopped what they were doing and gathered around him, but feared getting too close. The old man was growing impatient. He just wanted their attention. He just wanted to tell a little story. He just wanted them to sit down around him. He just wanted them to listen, and sit by him. Was that so wrong? Didn't think so.

The boys and girls still would not go near him, and the old man finally broke down and lost it. "SIT YOUR ASSES RIGHT HERE, NOW!" He shouted, taking out a ruler and pounding it on his hand. The boys and girls immediately did as they were told, and the old man was happy. (:

"Thank you," he said in creepily sweet voice, almost like a scary old woman granting kids candy or cookies (or drugs) I mean...cookies.

The old man reached down to open a trunk of reading material. He hastily pulled out a strange looking magazine and flashed the cover to the children. "All right, children!" the old man said happily, "Can anyone tell me the name of this story?" The children looked long and hard at it before one brave little soul spoke the title.

"Girls...Galore...What are they doing-?"

"Oh shit! Um...I mean...uh...You-you weren't supposed to see that!" the old man cried, blushing bright red. He quickly shoved the magazine back into the trunk, where a few of the children, could barely make out many more _Girls Galore_.

"Um, okay children, um...quick lesson! Sex addiction is a very, very bad thing. Don't get addicted! Cover your eyes."

"But the book is already gone," cried one little Jimmy.

"COVER THEM I SAY!" the old man yelled, holding up his hand as if he were about to smack the boy. Little Jimmy nearly peed in his pants and covered them out of fear.

"Now then," said the old man taking out another book. "Can you guess what this is?"

"More porn?" a little boy said hopefully.

"NO! Now shut up and listen!" the old man yelled, slightly disappointed. "The story is called _Naruto's Demon._ It's really quite interesting. You should read it some time."

"Aren't you going to read it to us?" asked Little Jimmy.

"I SAID READ IT SOME TIME!" shouted the old man, making poor little Jimmy cry again.

"Now, let's get started," began the old man.

_Once upon a time, in the faraway land of Ninjas, lived a young boy, by the name of Naruto, in the village of Konoha. Now, Naruto was a very special boy, for he held a demon inside him._

"Tun tun tun," cried little Jimmy, to add some suspense.

"SHUT THE HELL UP, LITTLE JIMMY!" yelled the old man.

"I'm sorry, sir" cried little Jimmy. "I was only trying add dramatization."

"YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY, JIMMY, HUH! ADDING YOUR STUPID LITTLE 'DRAMATIZATION'! HERE'S WHAT I THINK OF YOUR GODDAMN EFFECTS!"

The old man proceeded to take out some hardcover books and violently throwing them at Little Jimmy. "YOU LIKE THAT, HUH! MAYBE THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO INTERRUPT ME, YOU LITTLE SON OF BITCH!"

Little Jimmy was officially scarred for life, and he ran into the girl's bathroom accidentally, crying. A bunch of shameful girls, threw him out savagely. Little Jimmy then cried himself to sleep, thumb in mouth. Little Jimmy gets no love.

So the old man looked at him, not caring, and continued with the storyglad that the annoying boy was gone. He thought of drugging him, so that he could remain asleep for a long time, but then he remembered gay sex in jail, and thought best not to.

_Naruto used to have a friend. His name was Sasuke Uchiha. He was very nice...not really. He always ignored Naruto, but he was his best friend._

"_I want us to be best friends forever!" cried Naruto._

"_Get away from me," whispered Sasuke, and shoved him away._

"That's not what happened in the anime," cried a little girl.

"Shut up!"

_One day, Sasuke had betrayed Konoha, and left with a pedofile named Orochimaru, leaving behind a broken-hearted young girl and an angry Naruto. Naruto was so distraught, that he went after Sasuke with a group of friends: Nara Shikamaru, Hyuuga Neji, Akimichi Chouji, Inuzuka Kiba, and three people who came later: Subaku no Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro. Despite their hard efforts, they failed miserably at retrieving Sasuke. He was gone forever...or was he? But in the mean time, Naruto tried desperately to find him, until one day, he lost all hope. His hate grew deep. He was lonely without his one true best friend. He couldn't deal with the pain any longer, and began to hate Sasuke deeply. _

"Well, that was the prologue," said the old man, and yawned.

"What the hell, old man! You bored us with a goddamn prologue! Why don't you die now, old geezer!"

"DON'T MAKE ME SMACK YOU UP, BITCH!" yelled the old man, and the little boy seized talking immediately, hands over his face. "Now on to chapter one," he said happily again.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Co-authors to readers: Well we hope you liked the first chapter, even if it was a bunch of mindless crap! There'll be a lot more! Yayyyyy! Anyways, please review. We will appreciate it, and love you forever. And Little Jimmy will leave...I mean get, get a pony, and live a normal life...not being abused by us...not that he ever was. Anyways! Just press the go button and submit your review, please!


	2. Chapter 2

1When the old fart finally got all the yelling out of his system (for now), he flipped to the next page and continued reading aloud…

"Well, here you go!" Sakura said cheerfully to Naruto as the two reached his house. "Now remember, no missions for a while, okay? Your injuries aren't all that bad, but you still need to rest." She told Naruto in a serious tone of voice. "Hai, Sakura-chan! Thanks for helping with my injuries!" Naruto replied in his normal, cheerful, and hyperactive way. Sakura smiled warmly and replied, "No problem." She began to walk towards her own house.  
Naruto was now an 17 year old shinobi completely dedicated to working. In a way, he was the same as before since he was still pretty hyper at times and very cheerful, but of course, Naruto matured with age. He certainly wasn't as hyperactive as he before, and he had gotten much better at fighting. Naruto still aspired to be Hokage, but he was no longer proclaiming it at the top of his lungs. But the one thing that people noticed about him that was different was his work ethnic. Hardly anyone saw him anymore (except Sakura) because Naruto always seemed to off on a new, dangerous mission. Much to Naruto's dismay, the nonstop missions finally got to him, and now he expected…to rest? When there were so many missions he could called upon for!?! The blond haired shinobi could barely contain his frustration…anything could set him off now…

Naruto entered his home, but didn't shut the door. He…didn't really do anything…and the more probable reason would have to be the fact that a stranger was sitting at his kitchen table looking quite comfortable while munching away at a bowl of corn pops.   
"…"  
My Corn Pops…he's eatin' my Corn Pops!  
Those were Naruto's first thoughts before he realized: some strange man he didn't know is in his house…  
----Strange man eating corn pop's POV----  
Hmph, look at expression on his face, amazed I dodged his shuriken. What an idiot, thinking I'd get hit by such cheap shots…  
"Okay…Who the hell are you and what do you think you're doing in my house!?!"  
What?  
What do you mean 'Who am I?' Are you really that stupid…? He came at me again, kunai in hand ready to fling it at me, an expression on his face that spelled death. Just like always, He came with full force, and at the level I was at now, dodging it was no problem. And yet…I felt…slow. I was being slow. It was strange, but somehow, I wasn't reacting as fast as I normally do. Damn it…I was letting him break me down, no matter what, that expression on his face was too much for me…   
"Damn it…Damn it! Who are You!!?!"  
Naruto, you can't tell. By now, my hood should have flown off. Wait…I know why now. As always, anger has blinded you. Don't worry, I'll make sure you remember.  
----Normal POV----  
With one hand, the man pressed his palm against Naruto's chest and stopped him. His hand then clutched tightly onto Naruto's shirt as he brought his face close to his.  
"Take a good look."  
"…Sasuke…?"  
"Idiot." Sasuke released Naruto, who was now to stunned to speak. It was Sasuke. The person he so desperately tried to catch up to. The one who won every battle…even the final one that mattered the most…his best friend.  
Sasuke…  
Ared aura was now quickly building as Sasuke took in a sharp intake of breath.  
That chakra…the Kyuubi chakra? It's…It's stronger then ever!  
His black eyes were now to Naruto, who began to twitch. First a slight one. Then a full body one.  
No…don't tell me he can't even control it…!  
….   
….  
"Umm…why did you stop…?"  
"Well you know…cliffhanger…"  
"…But were not going anywhere…"   
"Dammit Jimmy, this is the end of the chapter! It's a cliffhanger so that people will want to read the next chapter!"   
"People are actually reading this!?!"  
"Nevermind…"   
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
Yeah, like it was said before, this is a cliffhanger. Anyways, on a serios note, I realize Sasuke and Naruto might have been a bit ooc in this chapter. They will be later on, but it will be on purpose. On the first few chapters, I really want them to in character, but I think I failed to do that. sigh Oh well…Anyways, sorry for the unfunny chapter, please accept this as an apology: Little Jimmy dancing!  
Me: DANCE DAMN YOU!!!  
Jimmy: no…so much…dancing…   
Me: Oh don't give me that! SHAKE IT BITCH!!!  
Jimmy: Please save me!! Someone!  
He's kidding…haha little rascal…o.0 Oh yeah, and sorry if there are any typos! I promise to work on that! See ya!


	3. Author's note

Hay guys.

Oh god, is this allowed? I'm not actually gonna be writing a story- this is just an author's note and whatnot. Oh lawdy I'm paranoid *wheeze wheeze*

So I noticed this has a whopping **4 **reviews, one of them asking me to update. Well thank you for this, mister and/or miss reviewer person :) Truth be told, I feel an eeeeeensy bit bad for abandoning this tale, but to tell the truth, I don't even read/watch Naruto anymore, and last time I checked, about 34580943 things happened since I wrote this story (seriously, I wrote this when, like, the only members of the akatsuki were Itachi and Kisame. Now there's this flower guy and some "lol guess my gender" sculptor and a chick WTH WHAT ARE THESE VAGINAS DOING IN MY AKATSUKI :|)

So...I'm seriously am considering continuing this. But at the same time, I just wanna scrap it and start writing fic again, but this time for fandoms I'm actually involved in now (Like...Soul Eater. That's a kewl show, rite guyz?)

What do you think? I got better at writing guyssss- I promise 8D

Well, if you have an opinion, go ahead and let it out friend, I'll be glad to hear it :)

- Gen.

(P.S. I still have Little Jimmy, except now he is a tortured youth by the name of JamesJacknife ™ who writes lengthy Myspace bulletins about that one chick at school who won't notice him and always ends every bulletin with his signature: +**James**_Jack_**Knife**+. Ohhhh him.


End file.
